Filipino Traditional Wedding: Experience from my Sister's Wedding
By Joanna Vidal |
| The bride walking down the aisle with our parents during the church ceremony |
In my previous blog post, I shared about the traditional Arab Muslim wedding. This time, I want to take you into something much closer to my heart—the beauty and complexity of a traditional Filipino Roman Catholic wedding.
As someone who grew up with these customs, I’ve seen how modern life has started to reshape our traditions. Many couples today choose more practical or modern approaches due to financial constraints. Honestly, it makes me a little sad—because there’s something magical about the old ways. But I also understand. Life isn’t easy, and sometimes simplicity is the smarter choice.
So instead of talking about tradition in theory, let me share something real and personal—my sister’s wedding in 2024. It was a beautiful blend of tradition and modern convenience, a hybrid celebration that honored our culture while adapting to today’s realities.
A Modern Take on Tradition – Planning the Wedding
In 2024, my sister received an early blessing—she was going to start a family sooner than expected. While they had plans to get married eventually, this joyful surprise meant things moved a little faster than planned.
Rather than follow the traditional route of preparing everything manually and involving dozens of relatives, they chose to hire a wedding planner—a growing trend in the Philippines. These planners take care of everything: from church arrangements and gown fittings to photographers, makeup artists, and even emcees and event hosts.
Yes, it’s more expensive—but for many families, the convenience and reduced stress are worth the cost. It allows everyone to focus on the joy of the celebration instead of the logistics.
Nowadays, it’s also becoming common for Filipino couples to hold their wedding reception in hotels or resort halls, wrapping everything up in just one day. This differs from traditional practices where the reception was held at the bride’s home, and the festivities extended for a couple of days.
In older times—especially in rural areas—there was a form of dowry known locally as bigay-kaya or bigay-susi. The groom’s family would offer gifts such as livestock, sacks of rice, or other valuable goods as a symbol of their sincerity and capacity to support the bride. These offerings were also a way to honor both families and build mutual respect within the community. Though no longer common in modern weddings, some families still honor this tradition in symbolic ways.
In my sister’s wedding, both sides of the family contributed financially. From our side, we provided a cash contribution to help support the couple with the wedding expenses. Additionally, three large pigs—each estimated at around or over 200 kilos—were slaughtered. One was provided by our family, and the other by the groom’s side. There are also kilos of chickens, turkeys and beef for the feast and yes people in the whole village are all welcome so this much food we prepared. It was a beautiful example of cooperation and shared effort that reflects the Filipino value of bayanihan—a spirit of communal unity and support.
The Day Before the Wedding – Music, Food, and Community
Unlike Arab Muslim weddings where celebrations are often separated by gender, Filipino weddings bring everyone together—men, women, children, neighbors, and even curious passersby. That’s part of the charm: it’s open, warm, and communal.
On the day before the wedding, the preparations began early. The wedding planner’s team set up the venue, including the sound system and decorations. My aunt arranged for a live band to perform that night, adding a festive mood. The night before is when people start gathering—not just family, but neighbors and even those from nearby villages.
Meanwhile, the groom’s side—his relatives and family—took charge of the cooking. They began preparing large quantities of food, working overnight to make sure there was enough for everyone. Feeding even the uninvited is a long-standing Filipino tradition rooted in generosity and community spirit.
People also spent the evening preparing their clothes for the next day’s dance and social programs. It was a night full of excitement, laughter, and shared anticipation.
The Big Day – A Church Ceremony Full of Meaning
The next morning was buzzing with energy. Everyone in the entourage—bridesmaids, groomsmen, and sponsors—woke up early to get in line for the makeup artists and hairstylists. My sister, as the bride, had her own team. She was the center of attention, and rightly so.
Photographers and videographers documented every moment, capturing candid scenes and group shots. Arriving at the church felt like a fashion show—everyone dressed to impress, in elegant gowns and barongs, sparkling jewelry, and vibrant traditional attire.
The ceremony followed the Roman Catholic wedding rites: readings, prayers, exchange of vows and rings, and symbolic rituals involving the veil, cord, and candles—each representing love, unity, and divine light for the newlyweds.
I was originally chosen to be the veil sponsor, but in Filipino culture, there’s a superstition that if an older sister acts as veil sponsor, she gets covered or blocked from something related to marriage or may never get married. My mom didn’t want to risk it, so I became the candle sponsor instead. Whether you believe in these superstitions or not, they remain a meaningful part of our wedding traditions.
Superstitions and Beliefs – Between Tradition and Modernity
Filipino weddings are deeply intertwined with superstitions, and each region has its own beliefs. Another one we faced was “Sukob”—the idea that two siblings should not get married in the same year, as it may bring bad luck to both marriages.
In 2024, both my sister and my brother were getting married. We informed my sister’s in-laws, and thankfully, they understood. Since my brother’s wedding wasn’t held in a church and he was older, they were fine proceeding. It just goes to show how flexible these beliefs can be depending on family values and personal convictions.
Even today, many couples still weigh these beliefs when planning their big day.
The Reception – Dancing, Gifts, and Generosity
After the ceremony, everyone proceeded to the reception—a place filled with laughter, food, and joyful celebration. Emcees hosted a full program that featured traditional dances and heartfelt messages from friends and family.
Before entering the reception, the newlyweds were welcomed with a mixture shower of rice, salt, confetti, and coins—a symbolic gesture wishing them prosperity, abundance, and protection as they begin their life together.
One of the highlights of the reception was the money dance. Guests pinned bills onto the bride and groom’s clothes as they danced—a tradition that might appear flashy, but is deeply rooted in love and support. It’s a way of helping the couple start their married life on solid ground. In some Filipino weddings, well-off guests may even gift items like a car, land title, or household appliances. Others give cash or practical gifts within their means such as television, electric fan, rice cooker, stove, casserole etc. Things that could help them start new life together as newly wed. What truly matters is the generosity and good wishes behind every offering.
Everyone gave a gift, but for me, my special gift was their wedding rings. Just like I did for my brother when he got married, I told my sister and her husband that I would be the one to provide their wedding rings. It was a personal and meaningful gesture, and something I was proud to do for both of them.
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| An example scene guests pinning bank notes for a newlywed. |
My Role Behind the Scenes – Supporting in Small but Big Ways
While the formal program was happening, I noticed there were no volunteers managing food distribution for people outside the reception—those from nearby areas who came to celebrate and hoped for a meal.
Without guidance, the crowd became disorganized, with some people cutting in line or getting food multiple times while others waited. I decided to step in. Since many people knew and respected me in the village, I managed to organize the line and made sure things flowed smoothly. It was a small act, but it made a big difference—and I was glad to help.
At the end of the night, my family also helped clean the venue and pack up decorations. Weddings may be about the couple, but it’s also a time when everyone pitches in to make things special.
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A Priceless, Once-in-a-Lifetime Celebration
Yes, it was expensive. Yes, it took a lot of work. But when I saw my sister glowing with happiness, surrounded by people who love her, I realized—it was all worth it.
In a time when modern convenience sometimes overshadows tradition, this wedding reminded us of the values we grew up with: faith, family, community, and joy. It was more than a wedding. It was a cultural celebration—a living reminder of what it means to be Filipino.
I know there are more Filipino wedding cultures and traditions that were not mentioned in this blog. Do you know or have experienced? please share and I am happy to read them leave your comments. Thank you for passing by!
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