Why Do Relationships Fail?

Why Do Relationships Fail? A Personal Reflection on Cheating and Emotional Disconnect

By Joanna J Vidal

Hey there, beautiful souls! 

So I've been thinking a lot lately about something we've all either lived through or watched unfold around us – that gut-wrenching moment when cheating crashes into a relationship like an uninvited guest.

Look, I'm no relationship guru with fancy degrees hanging on my wall. I’m just someone who has lived, listened, and learned, someone who’s been through heartbreak and heard the same pain echoed in the stories of others close to me.

It's wild how normalized cheating seems these days, right? Scroll through your social feeds or listen to conversations at happy hour, infidelity pops up everywhere like those annoying ads you can't skip. I've watched it tear through rock-solid marriages, long-term partners, casual dating, and those weird "we're-something-but-nothing" situations we've all found ourselves in.

This blog isn’t about judging anyone. God knows I've made enough mistakes. It’s about understanding. If you’re reading this and going through a difficult time in your relationship, I want you to know:

You. Are. Valuable.

Whether you're fighting to save what you have or packing your bags to start fresh – you've got this. Your choice is valid. The hurt won't last forever, I promise (even when it feels like it will).

Red Flags That Shouldn't Be Ignored

If you see these signs and your partner refuses to change even after honest conversations, it may be time to re-evaluate:

• Narcissist behavior (They make everything about them) 

• Lack of empathy (Zero ability to understand your feelings)

• Lies/Dishonesty (big ones, small ones, medium-sized ones)

• Cheating (obviously)

• No Emotional Intelligence (Emotional reactions that belong in a toddler's playbook)

• Mind games and manipulation

• The same harmful patterns on repeat (abuse physical or emotional)

• Playing victim ("Poor me" syndrome when they mess up)

• Gaslighting (Making you question your own reality)

• Shifting blame ("It's not me, it's you" mentality)

• Getting super defensive when caught red-handed

• Living a double life or fake personality (who even has the energy for that?)

• Humiliating or belittling you, Putting you down in front of others (or when you're alone)

•  Being inconsiderate or Selfishness as a personality trait

One red flag might not sink the ship. But a collection of them? That'll drain your soul faster than my phone battery dies when I'm lost downtown.

So what actually counts as cheating anyway?

Cheating isn't just sneaking around for hookups. It shows up as:

• Getting emotionally tangled with someone else

• Financial decisions and dishonesty

• DM relationships that cross boundaries (Online or virtual cheating)

• Those "innocent" little behaviors that don't feel so innocent (Micro-cheating)

• The obvious physical stuff (Infidelity in any form)

No matter the label, cheating is still cheating, big or small, when trust gets shattered, and trust is the foundation of any real connection.


Three major reasons Why Cheating Happens

From what I've seen (and lived through, ugh), relationships typically implode from cheating:


1. Needs Aren't Being Met  or Temptation 

(Or They Just Want Something Shiny)
Sometimes people cheat because they're starving for something physical connection, emotional understanding, whatever. Others just get bored or curious about what else is out there. Throw in how easy it is to slide into someone's on social media nowadays, and temptation is literally a thumb-tap away.

2. Emotional Baggage and Communication 
Unresolved trauma, low self-esteem, and constant misunderstandings can slowly destroy a relationship. Many people carry unhealed wounds, and instead of addressing issues directly, they bury them—until one day, everything explodes. Add financial stress to the mix, and it becomes a perfect storm.

3. Character Changed

Personal transformation or moral shift is also one of deeply impactful reasons why cheating occurs in relationships. Sometimes the person you fell in love with isn't the same person you're with now not because you didn't know them well enough but changed along the way. As life unfolds, people tend to evolve or change: some grow, some regress, and some simply reveal a side of themselves they kept hidden in the beginning.

Every Situation is Different

I know it’s hard. I know how heavy this can be. But you deserve a love that feels safe and honest, not one where you constantly question your worth. Everyone’s situation is different, and I understand how hard it is to make the right decision. But if you find yourself going in circles, maybe it’s time to ask yourself: Do I want to stay stuck here forever?

Take your time healing. You don't owe anyone explanations for your choices. But you absolutely owe yourself some peace.

The only relationship that'll never let you down is the one you build with God. Everything else should help you grow, not leave you broken.

What are your thoughts about relationship fail? please leave a comment, share your experience if you have one I want to learn from your story too. 

Thanks for reading my rambling thoughts. If any of this hit home, just know you're not walking this path alone. We've all been there in some way. 

Follow me on:

Insta: @unjoannable_m3

FB Page: https://www.facebook.com/unjoannableblog/